


Life Is A Risk But I Will Take It (Close My Eyes And Jump)

by Stubbornness_and_Spite



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Gen, I don’t know how to tag this, Internalized Enbyphobia, Internalized Transphobia, No beta we die like Sunset Curve, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Julie Molina, but like not a lot, i think, im not really sure what period-typical transphobia for the 90’s looked like, implied period-typical transphobia, implied that the boys are not super aware of trans people and have heard some bad things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27948197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stubbornness_and_Spite/pseuds/Stubbornness_and_Spite
Summary: Julie has something to tell the boys
Relationships: Alex & Julie Molina, Alex & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Julie Molina & Luke Patterson, Julie Molina & Reggie, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson(implied)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 144





	Life Is A Risk But I Will Take It (Close My Eyes And Jump)

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many other things I should have been doing and so many other things I could be posting, but this show has grabbed me by the heartstrings and demanded my full attention.  
> I really wanted some fics about introducing the boys to 2020 queer culture so I wrote one(sort of)  
> To clarify, because there are a few things in here that could be misconstrued, I based this fic a lot off of my own experiences. I never had a moment like this because I had my gender crisis when the pandemic hit so I came out to my friends over text, but my use of pronouns here is deliberate and based on my own internal monologue and reaction to my internal self-misgendering, particularly when I was still trying to figure things out.  
> If anyone has any suggestions, I might try to start a series of short fics about introducing the guys to 2020 queer culture/labels/sexualities.   
> If anyone knows of fics other people have already written with this concept, you wanna drop the link in the comments?

Julie was unusually subdued heading into the studio that day. The boys were already there, absentmindedly fiddling with their instruments. They all perked up when Julie walked in.

“Julie!” They chorused.

“Hey, guys,” Julie responded. She bit her lip and shifted her weight back and forth. Julie winced.

“Hey, is something wrong?” Luke asked, setting his guitar down and making his way over. Making his way over to her. Julie winced again.

“Do you think-” She shook her head.

“Jules,” Reggie cut in. “Everything okay?”

Julie nodded and forced a smile. “Everything’s great, don’t worry about it.”

Alex set down his drumsticks. “No pressure, but you can tell us anything.”

Julie took a breath and started again. “Do you guys think you could try using they/them pronouns for me?”

There was a silence.

“What?” Reggie broke it.

“Never mind, it’s stupid,” Julie said, shaking her head. “Let’s just practice.”

“Hey,” Luke said softly. “We’re not saying no. We’re saying we don’t understand.”

“Oh,” Julie said. “It’s kind of complicated, but do you know about transgender people? People who are assigned one gender at birth, but they’re actually a different one?”

Luke and Alex winced. “Not really,” Alex said.

“Probably not the kind of things you’re thinking about,” Luke added.

“Yeah, actually,” Reggie said, looking off into the distance like he was trying to remember something. “I think my one aunt grew up as a boy. There were some old pictures of her in my parents’ house and she was wearing pants which my grandparents would have never put their daughter in.”

“Exactly!” Julie smiled. “She was a woman, but when she was born, doctors thought she was a boy.”

“Okay,” Luke said slowly. “What does this have to do with you? Are you saying you’re a guy? Or that people thought you were a guy?”

Julie laughed a little. “No, I just wanted to try using different pronouns to see how it would feel. I’m not sure right now. I think I might not be a guy or a girl.”

“Pronouns?” Alex asked, walking over to sit on the couch.

Julie nodded. “Like how yours are he/him. Alex plays the drums.  _ He _ is very good. There are  _ his _ drums. That hoodie looks nice on  _ him _ .”

The boys nodded.

“And you want us to…” Luke trailed off. 

“Use they/them for me?” Julie asked.

“How would that work?” Reggie asked, not really looking at Julie. “Like are there more than one of you?”

Julie winced slightly but covered it with a smile. “No, like, when you find a lost jacket but you don’t know whose it is, what would you say?”

“Someone lost a jacket?”

“Or someone lost  _ their _ jacket,” Julie explained. “If you saw someone walking a dog but couldn’t see if the person was a guy or a girl and you wanted to point out the dog, you could say, ‘Look at  _ their  _ dog.’ ”

“So,” Luke hesitated. “Julie seems sad today and we want to help them feel better.”

Julie’s lower lip trembled.

“Julie’s one of my best friends and I’m so glad they’re in the band,” Alex said a bit more confidently.

“Uh, I think you mean you’re glad we’re in  _ their  _ band, dude,” Reggie corrected. “They’re the main attraction here.”

Julie’s eyes were wet. “Thank you, guys,” they said. “I really appreciate this.”

“Of course, Julie,” Luke said. “You do still want us to call you ‘Julie’, right?”

Julie nodded. “I like my name. And I’m not sure if I’m going to want to keep using they/them or if I’ll want to try other things too. For right now, she and they are both okay.”

Reggie nodded. “So, ‘Julie is great. They’re an amazing singer and she plays the piano well too?’ ”

“Yeah,” Julie said. “Exactly like that.” She paused. “Oh, um. I haven’t come out to Carlos, or my dad, or Flynn, or anyone else yet, so if you could only use ‘they’ when no one’s around that can hear you?”

Alex grinned. “That’s most of the time, Julie.”

“Duh,” Julie said, hitting their forehead with their hand. “I knew that.”

“You told us first?” Reggie asked. He grinned at Alex and Luke. “Guys, they really do love us!”

Julie tried to scowl but they were smiling too hard for it to have any weight. “You know I love you. Now let’s stop wasting time and practice!”

Reggie and Alex grinned and jumped up, Reggie to grab his bass and Alex to grab his drumsticks. Luke lingered by Julie for a moment.

“You know we care about you, right?” he asked softly. “And making sure you’re happy is never a waste of time?”

“I know,” Julie said with a smile. “I know.”


End file.
